Pet Peeves
by JodieLove
Summary: I, Lily Evans, have made a list of my top 10 pet peeves. They don't relate to James Potter in any way. Not at all. Nope. Believe me! LJ ONESHOT


Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling

I was bored. Sorry. Review if you like.

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If one were to ask me to make a list of my 10 biggest pet peeves, this would be my answer. I thought I would make this list ahead of time. I'm always prepared you see, unlike a certain person I know.

1. James Potter (he just **might **be the person mentioned above)

2. James Potter's hair. (It looks like the end of a broomstick, after it's been dragged against the floor of the whole school. I'm not even joking)

3. James Potter groupies. (Do they **have **a life? It makes me sick to my stomach. No, not the kind of sick that makes you want to puke. It's more like this churning twisting feeling inside of my stomach. Like my stomach is in knots really. My friends say my eyes even glower when this happens. It makes me **that **sick. Oddly enough, it seems to happen whenever I see Potter with another girl. Odd.)

4. James Potter's pranks. (Immature much? They aren't even funny. Except for that time..and maybe that time...and oh! Alright, so they're a little funny. Not that I'd ever admit that to him. It'd boost his already massive ego.)

Bringing me to my next point.

5. James Potter's ego. (Imagine an elephant. Then imagine a mountain. Then, imagine the country. Can you picture it? Good, now keep going. The earth now. No, be patient, I'm not done. Now, picture the solar system. Hmmmm. Yep, that's about it. That's how big his ego is. Would I love to just take a pin and prick his big, fat bubble. I'll let you in on my secret. I dream of that every night. NO NOT OF POTTER! Just of me pricking his inflated ego. Okay, so he's in the dream. That's totally not the point.)

6. James Potter again. (I couldn't resist. I hate him so much. He has to come twice.)

7. James Potter's foolish attempts at pick up lines. (Lame much?)

To prove my point:

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see! (The prick didn't even know what Tennessee was. Believe me. I asked. He thought it was a shop in Diagon Alley. Prick.)

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours? (May I remind you James Potter, we don't use phones.)

I'd marry your cat just to get in the family. (Potter in my family? My life would be over. But wait! Now that I think about it. I think I'll just take him up on that offer--as soon as I buy a cat. I mean, if he married my cat, then he'd obviously have to leave me alone. Note to self: buy a cat with nice sharp claws. I don't see any infidelity to the cat happening anytime soon. I can picture it now. A Potter free life. Bliss.)

And last but not least. Oh no. Not least at all.

So, you're a girl huh? (Don't even ask. I don't even know what he was thinking. When he said that, my response was to hex him to look like a girl for the next three days. Then I smirked, saying "So, you're a girl huh?" It was good times.)

Again. Lame much?

8. James Potter becoming Head Boy this year. (Dumbledore? Are you daff?! INSANE? Well, okay, so I always knew you were a little whack. But seriously. Potter? Head Boy? That's like appointing Hitler as the prisoner gaurd of the Nazi's. That like appointing Voldermort to keep the Death Eaters locked up in Azkaban. INSANITY! Did I mention I have to share a dorm with him? A bathroom? A common room? What's next. A room? I'd rather die.)

Dumbledore just walked in to tell me that my room had a pipe leakage underneath. Potter was behind him smirking, forming a heart with his hands and holding it out behind Dumbledore. Oh no no no! But it was alright. I told Dumbledore I'd sleep in Alice's dorm for the next 2 nights. Wouldn't want to impose on my dear, darling co-head. You should've seen his face.

So where was I?

9. James Potter pretending he could defeat Voldemort. (Like honestly, don't even try Potter. Not that I care about his welfare. Oh no. Just. No.)

10. People who call me obsessed with James Potter. (As if! I would **never. EVER. **be obsessed with James Potter. Except for maybe in his dreams.)

I'm not lying! I would never be obsessed with...

What's that? Is writing a whole list on someone being obsessive? Well...yes? But I didn't...this wasn't...

...I'm not obsessed with him. REALLY!

Really!

R-really.

Fuck.

* * *

"Hey Lily, a list of pet peeves eh?" said James, as he looked over her shoulder, scanning the first line.

Lily's emerald eyes widened in fear, as she hurriedly crumpled her paper. "Yes."

"Can I see?" he asked, grinning at her. _Did I mention, my 11th pet peeve would be his grin. Just cause everytime he did it, my stomach would like...flutter. Flutter? Where did I get that from. I mean. I dont know what I meant, _thought Lily.

"No," she continued, gripping savagely on the abused parchment.

"Okay then..." He looked at her warily. "Will you at least tell me your pet peeves?"

Lily smiled weakly. "I have none," she lied, tapping her wand on the paper so that it would dissappear. Once that was completed, she briskly pushed past James, leaving him to watch after her, bewildered.

"But...she just said she made a list...huh?"

Lily smirked. She had no pet peeves, she decided. None at all. James Potter was certainely not her pet peeve. Certainely not her 11 top pet peeves. Nope. Because she had none!

So take that James Potter. And all those who called her obsessed. Because she wasn't.

Really!


End file.
